What if Every Jewish Organization Had an In-House Matchmaker?

Imagine a world where every Jewish organization had an in-house matchmaker. A big reason people come to Jewish communal spaces is to find a mate. While even one generation ago finding a life partner was done with the support of family and the Jewish community at large, today’s singles are largely on their own. When people are looking for love, they often feel isolated and alone. It doesn’t have to be that way! The presence of an in-house matchmaker makes people feel seen and held. It says: this organization understands my needs and has mechanisms in place to serve me.

At Tribe 12, the process begins with an intake conversation with one of our matchmakers. The one hour video call or in-person conversation is expansive, covering areas as basic as geography, hobbies, and basic preferences, and as intimate as sexuality, relationship goals and personal politics. The personal relationship which develops between the matchmaker and constituent during that conversation becomes a vessel for following up with matches, event invitations, and sharing resources. We have also found this intake conversation is a sticky, tactile way to bring people in our doors and introduce them to all Tribe 12 and the Jewish community at large has to offer, even beyond matchmaking.

You can read all about our matchmaking initiative (and see some smiling photos of couples we’ve matched!) at tribe12.org/matchmaking.

Danielle Selber, the creator of our matchmaking initiative, has begun to train other Jewish organizations in our methodology. She works with key staff at an organization to teach the skills of matchmaking as well as the processes and operations that run in the background to make it work smoothly.

Here are some of the things people learn when training with Danielle:

  • Matchmaking as an engagement methodology
  • How a matchmaking intake conversation is different from and similar to typical one-on-one engagement
  • Following up with one-on-ones to solidify a personal relationship and serve the constituent
  • Matchmaking for underserved communities such as LGBTQIA+
  • Supporting neurodiverse daters and people who socialize differently
  • Planning singles events that don’t suck
  • Concepts like consent, age differentials and safety

Tribe 12’s matchmaking work is unique and creative, but it’s also entirely replicable. Though there is plenty of room for customization, the matchmaking initiative is designed as a turnkey model ready to launch in any Jewish community with just a few hours of training.

Think this might be right for your organization? Get started with a free 30-minute consultation to discuss! Add yourself to Danielle’s calendar here: calendly.com/danielle-tribe12/30 or email our Executive Director, Megan GoldMarche at megan@tribe12.org.


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